Where's my padded cell?

I need it. We've had a tough week. Himself has been away, working, so I wonder if I'm feeling so wrecked because I've been single parenting. I spoke to the school last week about my concerns over George's "people who hate me" list. They confirmed what I already knew - that this is not actually the case. I expressed my feelings about his English lessons - if there's going to be a problem, it will be in English, and it seems that there are some pupils who know which buttons to push. They wind him up and then sit back to watch the entertainment as George digs himself a really deep hole. The person I spoke to told me that she was worried that if this was not dealt with, quickly, George would carry his "easy target" label throughout the rest of his school life. In lots of ways he's typical of a boy of his age - I'm sure this isn't all one sided because I know that his behaviour can be irritating. However, on Thursday of last week I received a letter from the school informing me that George would be in detention for 1 hour after school on Monday. I telephoned the school again and spoke to the SeNCo. It started off as a conversation about his detention and ended up with a promise that the English teacher would be asked to telephone me. She did, and she explained how difficult she finds it to deal with this particular class. Evidently there are a few pupils in the class who are disruptive and a couple in particular who are just plain naughty. She tells me that she is very sympathetic to George's situation and understands his condition. She also told me that whilst she called for the SOC, she had made it clear that she didn't feel that George should be punished. George was not able to control himself and she needed to be able to teach for at least some of the lesson. I fully understand her position but I got a bit cross about this, so I put it all in writing to the school.

"Further to our telephone conversation this morning, I am pleased to tell you that I have now spoken to the English department, and have been advised that it would not be appropriate for George to move sets in this subject. However, I still have very grave concerns regarding this situation. Having spoken to Ms xxx, it seems that George finds it very difficult to settle in this class. The mix of pupils, I believe, is quite a problem. It would seem that there are a few pupils in the class who actively seek to antagonise George which results in his loss of self-control. We have tried to encourage George to ignore their taunts, but he finds it very difficult.

It would seem that the best way to help George (in this lesson) is to provide him with a 1-1 teaching assistant. However, I appreciate that resources are tight and this may not be possible. If George is not able to have a teaching assistant in English, I think it would be appropriate for him to have access to the special needs department on the occasions when he is not able to control his behaviour. This would enable George to work effectively and would also mean that the English teacher can teach the rest of the class. I would expect this to be at the Teachers discretion. Whilst we are not happy at the thought of George being excluded from the lesson, I cannot think of any other way, at the moment, to solve the problem.

You mentioned that it may be appropriate to put George on report, and get him to report to Mr xxxx. I am certainly willing to try this but our previous attempts to help George improve, using a report card, failed. My main concern, if a second attempt is made which doesn’t work, is that George will see this as yet another of his own failings. I will leave this decision up to you. If you think it will be beneficial to George, I will give my full support.

Finally, I would like to express my concern that George has to attend a detention, after school, on Monday 3^rd March. I find it very difficult to understand why George is being punished for something he cannot help. George has a known and diagnosed disorder which includes impulsivity - lack of self control and lack of foresight. He is often deliberately antagonised by other pupils in his English class, which would certainly add fuel to the fire. His English teacher has confirmed this to me today. I realise that ADHD children can be extremely difficult to deal with but, if George were deaf, would he be punished for not listening properly?

He will be attending the detention, against my wishes, because it is important that he adhere to the school policy. However, I would like a full explanation as to why this punishment was deemed necessary."

Sadly, there was no intervention and George attended for detention. I hate this situation, with a passion. I even considered giving him the meds again, until we see an improvement through the Dore Programme. However, once I had calmed down (had a bit of a temper tantrum, stamped my feet and cried) I decided that my original resolution would have to be followed. At the moment, if we return to the meds, George may see this as another failure and he really needs to succeed in something right now....

In the meantime, George has added to his list of people who hate him. He came home from school on Monday (after detention) with mud all over the front and back of his trousers, all over his school coat and also his school bag. Evidently two of the main antagonists pushed him over... (once each). He's angry and I don't blame him.

We haven't had a response yet, to the letter we sent. Himself has returned home and he isn't as patient as me. I think the school will be hearing from him.

How's the Dore going? He's still right there, 100%. He really wants it to work. We haven't noticed any improvement as yet, but it's only been three weeks.... not that I'm impatient or anything......