Pass the steak....

His frustration and lack of control is really getting out of hand now. He's managed to accidentally give his little sister a black eye. She wouldn't get out of his room, so he made her, and in the process she banged the side of her eye against the door handle. Screaming ensued, from both of them. She, because she was hurt and scared; He, because he was scared that he'd done her some serious damage. Thankfully the worst she will have is a black eye.... but one inch to the left and it would have been a different matter. I feel sorry for both of them. He can't control his actions and she has to put up with his lack of control. Thank goodness she is quite bright and also, very caring. Once she had stopped screaming and we were able to administer first aid (a bag of frozen peas!!) she told me that I should really go and "sort George out" because "He's very upset Mummy. He didn't mean to do it - it was an accident". By this time, he was howling, in his room. He got so upset, he was sick.

Both are sleeping peacefully now which gives me time to beat myself up. I ask myself if there was any way I could have prevented this happening and the only answer I come up with is to supervise him constantly. He's 11 years old and doesn't want his Mother following him around the house "just in case" he does something he shouldn't. I know he would hate it, and his logic would tell him that he can't be trusted and that would push his self esteem even lower. I know he will suffer, inside, because of this incident. As parents, we have to explain that his actions where inappropriate. This is what parents must do. I also know that by explaining how wrong he was, it will push him one step further down the ladder. At the moment, for every one step up he takes, his lack of control makes him move down two steps. He is, without doubt, a very caring and loving child. He was distraught when he realised what he had done and would have done anything to be able to undo it. I want to be able to save him from himself, but I cannot be there, every second of every day to second guess what he may do next.

10 days until we go to the Dore centre for his assessment. I'm praying they can help him.