My boy is becoming a man and making his mark on the world already. Whilst he is still challenged by his behaviour, he is learning to control himself when it really matters. There have been no negative events at school for nearly a year now and his last report was glowing. His grades are really good and he has become one of the most well behaved students in his year group. The Pastoral Manager at his school has nothing but praise for him, commenting that his tolerance level is way above his peers. He is taking accelerated maths, for which he needs to do extra work. I asked him if he wanted to do it and he insisted that he HAD TO. "Why?" I asked. "Because" he said "if I'm going to be a prototype engineer, I need a really good maths qualification".
In an effort to help him learn self control and spatial awareness, I bought him a midi kit (drum kit) and he has weekly lessons. Nine months in and he is taking his first drum exam next week. His drum tutor expects him to pass without any problems. Playing drums is a double edged sword - it helps to release some pent up energy and teaches him control at the same time. I would recommend it for children like George.
We still have the white noise - his whole catalogue of different noises is replayed daily at home and is more or less a way of life. As I write, he's making the bottle emptying noise but, do you know something? It's not hurting anybody. It's just a noise. :-)
My extended family have been a boon to me, particularly since I have been unwell. I am very lucky and their support has meant the world to me. They have helped me to believe in myself and my child. Any mother of an ADHD child will understand the sorrow we feel when our special needs children unknowingly affect our self confidence as parents. Our initial reaction to the diagnosis is self-recrimination and remorse... sort of "what did I do wrong?" I have stopped blaming myself. George not only enriches our lives with his humour, his talent and incredible knowledge, he has become a focal point of our family and we all work together to help him build on his strengths. This gives him the encouragement he needs to focus, control himself and achieve amazing things. I now consider myself blessed to have such an incredible child who makes me laugh, amazes me with his level of intelligence and has shown himself to be capable of achieving so much.
We recently had a check-up, at my request, with his specialist. The meeting resulted in praise for George at how well he is doing without medication. We were offered medication, if we felt that George needed it but I will NEVER allow him to take any kind of ADHD medication again. When the results of the long term effects of Ritalin were made known, I wanted to crawl away and die. The first six months he was on Ritalin were brilliant, but after that, the side effects became too high a price to pay. Children should not be prescribed ritalin for more than six months. That's a fact.
George has a couple of very good "mates" from school and he regularly gets invited to their houses - I lost count of how many times I thought that he would always be shunned because of his odd behaviour. I am so pleased that he has been accepted. He will always have "special needs" (God, I had that phrase!), but all he ever wanted was to be accepted for who he is. I believe that time has arrived. :-)
He is focussed on his goal and striving to achieve it.
At 14, George has challenged the world and won. I am very proud of him.
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