... of all the children at school who "hate" George. They don't, but it's his perception that they do. Boys will be boys and all that... He's come home today, wound up, anxious and frustrated. He's anxious because one of the "big" boys pushed him over. This resulted in torn (ruined) school trousers and a small cut to Georges' hand. George tells me that this "big" boy always does this to him. He was worried that I would be cross because I need to get him yet another pair of school trousers. He's only been at this school for two terms and he's going through a pair of trousers per term. I suggested that, whenever possible, he avoid this boy to prevent this happening again.
He then launched himself into qualifying his statement of "everybody hates me".
"They give me a hard time because I'm different to them. They call me names like 'monkey boy' and 'freak'. I can't help it if I have ADHD. They do things to wind me up. When I do the same back to them, I get told off by the teacher and sent out of the class. Then they all laugh at me because I'm being sent out. In technology, today, two boys kept throwing my stuff on the floor. If I leave it there, it will get trodden on, or I'll get told off by the teacher because my stuff is all over the place. They kept doing it today, and I got so cross that I threw one of their pencils on the floor. I got told off for that, too. In English, they were winding me up so much I had to ask the teacher if I could be excused so that I could go into the corridor and calm down. She came out after a minute or two and told me to go back into class. I tried to explain that I hadn't calmed down. She made me go back in. It ended with her sending for the SOC (Staff on Call) and some of the class started laughing at me again because I was in trouble".
I don't think for one minute that every minute at school is traumatic for him. It is very hard, when you're struggling, to see anything positive though. And I know that George is struggling. If he was in a small school, with small classes, his behaviour would improve, because there would be less stimulus. Large classes with a lot of noisy children stress him out. He would do very well if he worked alone, in a quiet room, but it has the potential to turn him into a very solitary and lonely person.
Georges' Dad (often referred to as 'himself') works best and is very happy when he is alone. He can concentrate, has nobody else to consider but himself and achieves a lot. This gives him a sense of wellbeing. It is my belief that he suffers from ADD. He certainly exhibits a lot of the signs. However, he has learnt social skills (you would expect this from a chap in his forties) and he has lots of friends. To deprive George of his peers would also deprive him of the ability to learn social skills. It's at times like this that I could really do with a crystal ball (couldn't we all?!) I don't think that I worry too much about our youngest daughter and what her future holds. She has lots of confidence, lots of friends and seems to be doing quite well at school. Her parents evenings are always a pleasure. I worry a lot about what the future holds for George. He's been telling me for nearly two years that everybody hates him. He recognises his faults but seems powerless to do anything about them. Right now, this minute, he has the TV on. I've told him he isn't to watch TV today, but he's forgotten and I don't have the heart to remind him. He's had a terrible day. If that makes me a bad parent, right now, then I hold my hands up to it. I just can't face any more upset today.
The Dore exercises are progressing well. George hasn't complained about doing them and is trying hard. :o)
Monday, February 25, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Taking the plunge...
Following an assessment at the Dore clinic last week, it was recommended that George start the programme. I have been following a number of on-line forums which discuss the success (or failure) of children on this programme. It would seem that a number of ADHD children have benefited substantially. There are, of course, those that have completed the course and have not benefited in any way. It doesn’t work for everybody.
George has an exercise regime specifically targeted to help him develop skills in areas where he has demonstrated a weakness. He has a set of three exercises, of which he must carry out two, twice a day. Each exercise must be done for a total of 5 days and then he moves on to a different exercise. At the moment they are quite easy for him, but we are focusing on the importance of control. Because they are quite quickly rotated I am hopeful that they will hold his interest and won’t become a chore for him. Also, when he has completed each exercise, I am hopeful that this will help to boost his confidence and he will start to believe that he can learn to control his actions.
It was explained to me that most children get worse before they get better, and I have read anecdotal evidence that backs this up. It generally seems to occur at about the 8-10 week stage. This is seen as a positive thing, because it would appear that for those children who initially regress, the long term outcome is generally very good.
Once he has mastered the physical exercises, he will be presented with some mental exercises which he must do at the same time as the physical ones. This normally happens at around the six month stage. My understanding of this process is that this will teach his brain to multi-task – this is something that he does not seem to be able to do currently and I believe that this may be the key to unlock his ability to control himself.
Currently, George has a very positive attitude regarding this. He really wants to try to help himself. We have a follow up appointment in six weeks time (and every six weeks thereafter) for further assessment, at which time his programme can be adjusted to suit his progress.
The Dore Programme is really still in its infancy, despite being around for a number of years. I watched a short interview today, featuring Kenny Logan, who has completed the Dore Programme to help with Dyslexia. He maintains that he couldn't read a word before he was 30. He said, with the help of the Dore programme, that he is now learning more every day. He learnt his vowels at 30 years old, has now learnt how to break down words (much like a child does, when they first learn to read) and feels that he is going from strength to strength. He explained how his Mother arranged for extra tutoring but even though he tried hard, he couldn't get the information to stay in his brain - he said he couldn't process it adequately to be able to retain it. George is not dyslexic, but I feel that there is some mileage to be gained by giving it a good try. Parents of ADHD children realise, quite quickly, that you can explain to your child how damaging their inappropriate behaviour is, but they cannot retain or process the information. We are often seen as poor parents because we know there is no point going on, and on, and on at the child. It won't make any difference because after 5 minutes they will have forgotten...... We can't spend our lives banging our heads against a brick wall, upsetting the whole family and gaining.... precisely nothing.
I am relieved that George has been accepted on the programme. At least I know that we are doing everything we can to help him. I have to be positive and believe that this will work. I hope that this positive attitude will help and encourage George to see it through to the end.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Pass the steak....
His frustration and lack of control is really getting out of hand now. He's managed to accidentally give his little sister a black eye. She wouldn't get out of his room, so he made her, and in the process she banged the side of her eye against the door handle. Screaming ensued, from both of them. She, because she was hurt and scared; He, because he was scared that he'd done her some serious damage. Thankfully the worst she will have is a black eye.... but one inch to the left and it would have been a different matter. I feel sorry for both of them. He can't control his actions and she has to put up with his lack of control. Thank goodness she is quite bright and also, very caring. Once she had stopped screaming and we were able to administer first aid (a bag of frozen peas!!) she told me that I should really go and "sort George out" because "He's very upset Mummy. He didn't mean to do it - it was an accident". By this time, he was howling, in his room. He got so upset, he was sick.
Both are sleeping peacefully now which gives me time to beat myself up. I ask myself if there was any way I could have prevented this happening and the only answer I come up with is to supervise him constantly. He's 11 years old and doesn't want his Mother following him around the house "just in case" he does something he shouldn't. I know he would hate it, and his logic would tell him that he can't be trusted and that would push his self esteem even lower. I know he will suffer, inside, because of this incident. As parents, we have to explain that his actions where inappropriate. This is what parents must do. I also know that by explaining how wrong he was, it will push him one step further down the ladder. At the moment, for every one step up he takes, his lack of control makes him move down two steps. He is, without doubt, a very caring and loving child. He was distraught when he realised what he had done and would have done anything to be able to undo it. I want to be able to save him from himself, but I cannot be there, every second of every day to second guess what he may do next.
10 days until we go to the Dore centre for his assessment. I'm praying they can help him.
Both are sleeping peacefully now which gives me time to beat myself up. I ask myself if there was any way I could have prevented this happening and the only answer I come up with is to supervise him constantly. He's 11 years old and doesn't want his Mother following him around the house "just in case" he does something he shouldn't. I know he would hate it, and his logic would tell him that he can't be trusted and that would push his self esteem even lower. I know he will suffer, inside, because of this incident. As parents, we have to explain that his actions where inappropriate. This is what parents must do. I also know that by explaining how wrong he was, it will push him one step further down the ladder. At the moment, for every one step up he takes, his lack of control makes him move down two steps. He is, without doubt, a very caring and loving child. He was distraught when he realised what he had done and would have done anything to be able to undo it. I want to be able to save him from himself, but I cannot be there, every second of every day to second guess what he may do next.
10 days until we go to the Dore centre for his assessment. I'm praying they can help him.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
For my next trick.....
I could waffle on for ages about the biology of ADHD. It doesn't mean a thing. What really matters is how it affects the child, and the family of the child. Today George was given lunchtime detention for trying to bite a Teaching Assistant. His frustration got the better of him and he reverted to the behaviour of a two year old going through the "terrible twos". Thank goodness, his school teachers understand that he is not doing this out of malice. He is really a very caring and sensitive boy. He sometimes pretends he isn't but adults who know him realise who he really is, under all the nonsense he displays. His face, when I arrived to collect him from his year tutor, was enough to reduce me to tears. He looked so sad, so frightened, so sorry...... He has apologised to the poor woman, and rightly so. He doesn't know why he did it. He knows it was wrong. I spoke to his ADHD nurse this evening and she was very supportive and understanding. She knows he can't help it. It doesn't help in the long term though.... I don't know how I manage to function from day to day. I am deliberately with-holding his Ritalin on the basis that the long term effects are not fully known. I don't want to be responsible for giving him a class A drug that "may" fry part of his brain. Without it, he is not coping. What to do? We have booked an assessment at a Dore clinic, because it's currently the only non-medication option that we have. It's two weeks away, but I need it now! There's a chance that we're throwing away £2500 on this for nothing, but I can't sit here and do nothing. I can't give him the drugs unless I have exhausted every other opportunity to help him and I feel as though we're caught between a rock and a hard place. Unfortunately the space between the rock and the hard place is quick sand.
George is in the garage with his Dad, right now. They're welding. George is very good at it. He needs to end the day on a positive note.
George is in the garage with his Dad, right now. They're welding. George is very good at it. He needs to end the day on a positive note.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Monopoly isn't supposed to be so hard!
A game of Monopoly, played with your children, is supposed to be fun. Not so with George. He loves playing games but cannot sit still or be quiet for more than 15 seconds. We experienced a whole range of noises from general popping sounds to car engine sounds as he moved his piece around the board. His constant fidgeting meant that houses moved from one property to another and money was flying every where. Thankfully, we put a timescale on the game. It was a long hour and a half. Many people would comment that they don't see a problem, and surely this is just how children are? The noises can be likened to listening to a radio station that isn't properly tuned in. You only hear a noise - it doesn't mean anything and it's not something a person could listen to for very long. You have to live with a child who suffers from ADHD to know just how much stress it puts on the whole family. A couple of nights ago his frustration degenerated into a screaming rage resulting in him slamming doors and banging his head against a window. He threatened to leave home..... I dread to think what our neighbours must be thinking when they hear this child screaming and banging. He picks things up and smashes them too - generally a much loved lego model (thank goodness it's lego because he can rebuild it). He smashed his new lego AT-AT into pieces and then told me he'd done it because he wanted me to know that he must be really angry to have smashed it. He has such perfect logic but I can't seem to get him to understand that he only has to tell me he's angry, not demonstrate it........
Trying to think of something positive about today, I came up with this:
Today, he cleaned his school shoes without arguing about it first. :o)
Trying to think of something positive about today, I came up with this:
Today, he cleaned his school shoes without arguing about it first. :o)
Friday, January 18, 2008
Sometimes, I don't know how we survive a week without losing it completely. Each day is a terrible struggle for all of us. We lurch from one crisis to another and, whilst we try hard to be proactive, it's not possible to foresee what George may do next or how his behaviour will affect the whole family. Today we received a call from the school SeNco because George (and five other children) had disrupted the last lesson so much that no teaching could be done. George was made aware of how disappointed the school were and he did apologise. He will always apologise when he realises how his behaviour has affected others. His biggest problem is not being able to learn from his mistakes and think about the consequences of his actions. That's just children, isn't it? Of course, all children must make mistakes - that's how they learn. ADHD children don't seem to be able to grasp the concept of it........
Not two hours later, we received a call from his Scout leader requesting that George was collected from Scouts because his behaviour was just too bad. We had explained to him (again!), before he went to scouts, the importance of behaving in an acceptable way. It doesn't make any difference how much we try, he just cannot seem to get it to sink in.
He came home, very unhappy because he had been excluded (understandable!) and was sent to bed. As he rushed past me, the distraught look on his face reduced me to tears. He sobbed for a while and eventually calmed down. He explained to me that he knows that he needs to try and stop doing the things that annoy and irritate others..... he has always known this but by the time he realises that his behaviour is not acceptable, it's too late. Any mother struggles to deal with their emotions when a child of theirs is so unhappy. Frustrations abound on all sides - our child is frustrated with himself because of his inability to control himself and we are frustrated with ourselves because of our inability to help him.
There is no support from the professionals because a) the lack of resources and personnel mean that too few people are trying to manage too many cases and b) we have withdrawn the Ritalin which is going directly against the doctors' recommendation.
It brings to mind the old cliché:
"We're damned if we do, and we're damned if we don't"
Not two hours later, we received a call from his Scout leader requesting that George was collected from Scouts because his behaviour was just too bad. We had explained to him (again!), before he went to scouts, the importance of behaving in an acceptable way. It doesn't make any difference how much we try, he just cannot seem to get it to sink in.
He came home, very unhappy because he had been excluded (understandable!) and was sent to bed. As he rushed past me, the distraught look on his face reduced me to tears. He sobbed for a while and eventually calmed down. He explained to me that he knows that he needs to try and stop doing the things that annoy and irritate others..... he has always known this but by the time he realises that his behaviour is not acceptable, it's too late. Any mother struggles to deal with their emotions when a child of theirs is so unhappy. Frustrations abound on all sides - our child is frustrated with himself because of his inability to control himself and we are frustrated with ourselves because of our inability to help him.
There is no support from the professionals because a) the lack of resources and personnel mean that too few people are trying to manage too many cases and b) we have withdrawn the Ritalin which is going directly against the doctors' recommendation.
It brings to mind the old cliché:
"We're damned if we do, and we're damned if we don't"
Sunday, January 13, 2008
In the beginning.....
George was born in 1996. He was born by emergency C section because of foetal distress. For the first six weeks of his life, he was just a normal new-born baby. From the age of six weeks he never slept for more than 45 minutes and spent an abnormal amount of time screaming. As an experienced mother (George was my third child) it seemed to me that there was something wrong, but my health visitor and also my Doctor said that he would settle down...... eventually. Skip to nearly 1 year old and we are now suffering from sleep deprivation. The chance arrival of a locum Doctor made me follow my instincts with this child, that there was something fundamentally wrong. On the advice of the (locum) Doctor, I changed his milk to Soya milk. The change was immediate and the screaming stopped, he slept through the night (praise be!) and we felt that all was well in our world...... little did we know the hell our lives would become.
George started 'play school' when he was two and a half. Within a few weeks, there were queries regarding his inability to sit still. I put it down to a very active imagination, along with a tendency towards hyperactivity. My understanding though, of hyperactive children, was that they rarely slept and because George had outgrown his sleeplessness, he couldn't be clinically hyperactive (in my opinion). We muddled through the following two and a half years until he started Primary school at age four and a half. By this time, we had a fourth child - a daughter - who was, and still is, an angel. George had also developed Asthma and was taking a steroid inhaler to treat this. We discovered that, within 3 days of using the inhaler, he would become overly aggressive and we found out that this is a side effect of steroid inhalers (why do doctors never tell you this?). We used to send a note into school:
"George had an asthma attack at the weekend and used his inhaler. This is your three day warning!"
His first year teacher queried ADHD. I didn't know too much about it, but at the time I was going through my "I'm a bad mother - it's my fault" phase and generally beating myself up about his bad behaviour. I told her that he couldn't possibly have it because he is able to concentrate for long(ish) periods of time when he's involved in something he really loves.
Around this time, we looked at the possibility of food intolerances being the main cause of his hyperactivity and impulsive behavour. The following two years saw George eating only natural food - no additives, preservatives, sugar or colourings. We also started giving him omega 3 fish oils.
It took two years to get an appointment with the allergy specialist at our local hospital. I was convinced that once we got the diagnosis, we could then start to include other foods in his diet. George had a pin-prick test, using the most common triggers of food allergies (eggs, wheat, milk, peanuts) and he was also tested for airborn allergens (house dust mites, dogs, cats and horses etc). The result was that he showed one reaction - to house dust mites - and this was the cause of his asthma. A further two years and I managed to control the asthma without using steroid inhalers. We steam clean the house once a month to keep the house dust mite allergens down to a minimum and, at the time of writing, George has been asthma free for nearly four years. :o)
As a result of his allergy testing, we abandoned the "totally natural" diet, although have always tried to keep his sugar intake to a minimum. We noticed no difference. Therefore, I had proved to myself that his behaviour was not due to eating modern food.
Back to the plot.....
His year two teacher found a strategy that worked for George and thoughts of ADHD disappeared because he now seemed to be behaving like any other normal, although very active, 6 year old.
His year three teacher couldn't cope AT ALL. I remember the day when she stormed across the playground at the end of the day, with George in tow, and told me "I don't think there's anything wrong with him - I just think he's a very naughty boy!" I cried all the way home..... That evening, George informed me that he thought I should leave home. When I asked him why, he said "because I can't be good". :o(
Around this time, George developed suicidal tendencies and his self esteem was in minus figures. We had tried many different strategies to help him, all of which failed, so we decided that George should be assessed for ADHD. We got a referral through our GP, completed the Connors assessment and waited for an appointment.
And waited....
And waited....
After 12 months of waiting I telephoned our local ADHD clinic and had a bit of a temper tantrum about the waiting time. George was getting worse.... his little sister was, by now, copying all his bad behaviour and I had visions of having two children attend this clinic for some considerable part of their lives. The thought of having another child on the waiting list seemed to spur them into action and we received our appointment within four weeks. Finally, I felt as though we were making some progress.
On the day of our appointment, the psychologist confirmed that George was indeed afflicted with ADHD (he had a connors rating of 27/30) and he was prescribed Ritalin. (I am aware that the process for dealing with ADHD in children has changed slightly since George was diagnosed and other options are available these days).
It was like a miracle cure for us. His behaviour at school improved drastically and his schoolwork improved almost overnight. We felt that he now had good prospects for the future (and I'm not talking academically).
This is the background, very much condensed.
Lets skip four years...... and come (almost) to present day......
At age 11, we were finding it increasingly difficult to reconcile with the fact that George was taking 40 - 50mg of Ritalin a day. I was also increasingly concerned about the long term effects of taking a stimulant drug. I wanted to get him off the Ritalin, but had a lot of concerns. These were my thoughts, fears and hopes:
A reduced dose will not really work. Too little and you might as well not bother with it. We have discussed this in depth quite recently, himself and I. I want to try and get him off the stuff, and himself suggested a half dose. His dosage has recently been increased because 15mg just wasn't doing the business any more. Children grow and Georges' normal (previous) dose was based on his weight. He was becoming less focussed at school and his teachers were struggling. Without the Ritalin, it's real struggle, more than you can know, unless you live with a child who has ADHD.
They say that knowledge is power. To try and increase my knowledge I have recently read a book called "the Edison gene".
As a result of this, and other research I have carried out over the past few years, I am trying to look at my child through more positive eyes. Let us imagine for a moment, if 90% of our children were like George. The educational system would be set up to teach these children according to their attitude to learning. ADHD children are the most enquiring and alert. They do not respond well to our current teaching methods because they are constantly scanning. They do not see the benefit in being taught the 7 times table. They do see the benefit in experimenting, exploring and inventing because these are activities that stretch the imagination and keep them focussed on "what could be possible". To teach these children effectively, they need to be able to work at their own pace and bypass what is irrelevant to them. Our education system will always be tailored to meet the needs of the majority. The minority will be pushed to one side because
"I have 27 other children in the class - I cannot possibly give this child special attention"
"I cannot cope with him first thing - he's too lively"
"He gets easily bored - I don't know what to do to keep him interested in the subject matter"
If the majority of children were like George, teaching would take a more "hands on" approach. It would be more structured towards physically doing, rather than just being talked to. As an example:
Thomas Edison was a prolific inventor. At age 16 he devised a railway signalling system that was used for nearly 100 years. Thomas Edison had ADHD. His mother removed him from the education system because she could see the harm that was caused by un-informed teachers and their inability to deal with children who did not conform to what was accepted as normal. As a result he was allowed to develop into the person he was capable of being. At the end of this I will tell you more about him and how he would fit into todays society.
I want my child to develop into the man he needs to be to get the most from his life. I am frustrated by the lack of understanding. I have read many articles by nutritionists who have poo-poo'd ADHD, saying that it is completely down to todays diet of junk food, additives and preservatives. They say that if we fed our children natural food - fresh meat, vegetables and fruit etc., all these symptons would miraculously disappear. In my experience this is not true. It is true that if you have a hyperactive child that you should avoid too much sugar. Sugar is an "instant" energy food, and will give the recipient a sudden abundance of energy. Sugar free drinks are just as bad for a child with ADHD because they react to the artificial sweetener. We tried for 2 years to control this disorder through diet - it had no effect at all, except to give me a good knowledge of E numbers!
So, the diet has no effect, and he cannot conform in the way that our society deems acceptable. 20,000 years ago he would have been the leader of a group of hunters, due to his amazing ability to constantly scan, to be able to jump instantly from one activity to another.
Today, we give our children a mind altering drug to force them to conform. In one way, this is a positive thing because it enables them to integrate with our "normal" society. The other side of the coin shows that we are inhibiting the amazing gift these children have been born with, which will leave them............. where...?
I have seen what my child is capable of. He is 11 years old and has recently built and programmed a robot (with the aid of written instructions). I want to enable him to grow his capabilities in the way that suits him. He is not like other children and I don't want to give him drugs to make him like other children.
There is a theory that children who take ritalin are inhibited from learning how to be "socially acceptable". They cannot learn that skill because the drugs automatically stunt their ability to learn through doing. In other words, they understand the theory but do not have the practical ability. Added to that is the unknown effect of long term ritalin usage. There are some adults, having taken ritalin to control ADHD in childhood, who are reporting short term memory problems. It's not known if the short term memory problems are due to taking ritalin, or if it is a long term symptom of ADHD.
This unknown element scares me and that's another reason to try to get him off the drugs. I want him to be able to learn how to control his impulses. He cannot do this while he is taking ritalin.
The following passage had a profound effect on me, and has made me think about what is best for my boy in the long term
Yesterday's child was born in the 1800's. As a young boy, he was considered medically fragile. Every respiratory illness known to mankind in that age seemed to seize him. Even though Yesterday's child spent many of his early years ill, this did not stop his insatiable curiosity and boyish escapades. Today's child would be described as "just being a boy."
Yesterday's child often found himself in risky life-and-death situations. One time, around the age of five, this boy nearly drowned in a canal; and later he almost smothered as he sank into the depths of a grain elevator. Today's child would be described as "having no common sense."
Yesterday's child was found asleep in the barn in a nest he had constructed, lying on top of the chicken and goose eggs he was trying to hatch. Today's child would be called "weird, eccentric." "Get off those eggs, you'll crack them!"
Yesterday's child drove his parents to exhaustion by his persistent questioning of the world around him, determined to know the "whys," "what fors," and "what abouts" of his world. Todays child is searching for someone to ask the questions to
Yesterdays child, with no malice aforethought but only out of the intense curiosity of an inquisitive mind, set his father's barn on fire. For this he was publicly thrashed by his father, who tried to instill in him the serious consequences of his actions. Todays child would be called a "juvenile delinquent".
After only three months of formal education, Yesterdays child walked out of his school in a fit of rage. Running home, he could hear the thoughts of the schoolmaster echoing in his head: "stupid... stubborn... difficult." Thus, at the tender age of eight, Yesterdays mother gave the schoolmaster a piece of her mind and withdrew the boy from school. From that day onward, she became Yesterday's teacher. Todays child would be called "a problem child, a bad boy, oppositional." And Today's mother would be told she was "highly excitable, and coddling her child." She would be encouraged by all the experts to force her child to return to school because "He'll outgrow it. He's got to learn to adjust."
Yesterdays child went swimming with a friend in a nearby creek. When the friend didn't surface for air, Yesterday's child waited for what seemed like forever. As darkness fell, he - in his own unique five-year-old logic - concluded that it was time to go home. As the town was trying to piece together the disappearance and drowning of his friend, Yesterdays child tried to explain how he waited for what seemed like forever... Todays child would be treated for "conduct disorder" and undoubtedly find himself one step away from the juvenile justice system.
Yesterdays child just couldn't comprehend consequences; that much seems true. One day he attached wires to the tails of two cats and energetically rubbed their fur. This experiment in static electricity went astray when he was brutally clawed. Todays child would be in long term therapy for ADHD, Pervasive Development Disorder, or some other behavioural disorder.
Yesterdays mother complained constantly about the life-threatening condition of his bedroom. Fearing for the safety of her family and any other who ventured into the family home, Yesterdays mother moved his experiments into the cellar. Yesterdays child called it his laboratory and immersed himself in science, to the exclusion of what other "normal" kids were doing at his age. Todays child would be labelled "dysfunctional." Todays child would be spending time in a court order alternative school programme, meeting with a psychiatrist twice a week for therapy, and be attending a class to learn social skills.
At age twelve Yesterdays child insisted on going to work and began successfully earning his own wage. Todays child, at that age, would face a closed door to the world of mentorship in the workplace. Todays child would have to search beyond home and work for other avenues to have his abilities accepted and appreciated.
As you read about yesterdays child, you are probably wondering how he could have survived and how he could have contributed to society in a positive way. Clearly, yesterdays child had somebody who accepted his uniqueness, changed his environment to meet his needs, was not intimidated by his gifts, and tried sincerely to see the world through his eyes.
Yesterdays child's name is Thomas Alva Edison.
I am not saying that my child will be this clever, but I want to give him the opportunity to be all that he can be.
Our biggest problem currently is with the school. I can just about deal with him, un-medicated, at home. We have agreed that the school will not be able to cope. This is because they don't seem to want to understand where he's coming from. The SeNco is a waste of space, in my opinion. She was his year 5 teacher and his general attitude to learning, whilst in her class, deteriorated. In year 6, she still takes him for a few lessons a week. She complained that he doesn't concentrate well in her class and gets easily bored. A basic understanding of kids with ADHD would give her the answer to this problem. Kids like this need to succeed and be recognised for their little successes - there has to be something positive in their lives. As an example: he has an amazing ability to design and construct. Both his Y5 and Y6 teachers have specifically requested that he does NOT take any of his completed projects into school because they are made from lego and toys are not allowed. They have not seen his robot.
When he talks to his classmates about the robot he has built and programmed, they don't believe him because he cannot produce the evidence. When I asked them why he's not allowed to take his models in, I was told that if George was allowed to take toys to school, then it would not be fair on the other children. I understand this, up to a point, but we are not talking about toys - we are talking about his motivation, his immense pride in his achievements (so desperately important for ADHD children). I try to see it from a teachers point of view, but there should be a way to overcome this. If he was deaf, the teachers would need to make allowances for that disability. I am really sick of being told that they have to treat George the same as the other children - he is NOT the same - he's funny, witty, bright and can do anything he sets his mind to. Three months ago, his Dad taught him how to weld. How many 10 year olds can weld?
The other ongoing problem is how he stands out by being different. We all know that children can be unkind and very often will target kids who are different. George has been targeted and often comes out of school at the end of the day, unhappy and frustrated, because some of the other children deliberately wind him up and then mock him when he over-reacts.
It bothers me that his teachers are only happy when George has made himself invisible. Comments like: "He was very good in art, today. In fact, I didn't even realise he was there" make me want to bang my head against a brick wall. This child has such a rich personality but nobody at school is interested. Two months ago his Y6 teacher asked me if there was any way I could give him his meds earlier, because he's very lively first thing, but by 9.15 he has settled down a bit. After I explained the consequences of this - his second dose would have worn off by 2.30 and she would have a hour "full on" at the end of the day, she decided to keep it as it is.
She told me that he will not go up to the playground, first thing, to play and instead comes running into the classroom 10 minutes early, wanting to help her. The example she gave me was that he wanted to fill the glue pots. In my opinion, this is a good thing and would be beneficial to all - he doesn't like playing in the playground - there's no structure to it and there is too much stimulus - he cannot cope with it. The task he suggested for himself would be quite therapeutic and something he could concentrate on (clever boy!) She refused to allow him to help. Instead she sent him back outside, and then complained that he spent 10 minutes messing about, before coming back in with the rest of the children. By this time he was completely off his head with boredom and took another half an hour to calm down. It's interesting that she seems so desperate to control him through his medication but when I've suggested possible alternatives, she looks down her nose at me. I don't really blame her for that - after all, she's a trained professional, but I know my child better than her and my suggestions (and his) should be given some merit. These two teachers consistently demonstrate a total lack of understanding with regard to him. My ADHD nurse rang the school to offer support and to my knowledge this has been turned down on the basis that they are managing perfectly well, thank you. Because of this we have decided that it would be best for George to have a full dose of Ritalin on school days, with complete breaks on non school days (on the non-ritalin days we are giving him Omega-3 oils to blunt his pointy edges
)
He only has 6 weeks left at his current school and to be honest I don't think there's much more that we can achieve, given the short space of time. We plan to give him a summer that is medication free, in an effort to help him learn some self control. He responds well to people who believe in him. He has attended two camping weekends with his scout troop and they have experienced very few problems. Part of this is down to the activities, and part of it is due to his respect for his scout leader who believes that George can do well (and George can sense this).
I have also started to employ two very useful phrases:
"Just try it one more time. I know you can do it."
"It's not about how fast you can do it, it's about how well you can do it"
Both of these simple phrases are starting to work (albeit v e r y s l o w l y). If I can show him that I believe in him, I hope that he will start to believe in himself.
The senior school that he will be attending in September seems to be more pro-active and I have more confidence regarding support. I have an appointment with the SeNco next week, and once I know more about their strategies I can make an informed decision regarding his medication.
He doesn't seem to be at all worried about going to the "big" school. He's almost like a little warrior and I think he sees it as an exciting new adventure. If he started to show any signs of stress, I know that by reinforcing the "exciting adventure" aspect he would happily accept the situation. I have to be positive about his new school because he's very aware of undercurrents of tension and if he thinks I have any negative feelings about it, he will automatically assume that it's because I don't think he can do it. My main concern is that his new teachers will need to have an open mind regarding George. I know that he can achieve much, given the right motivation and respect.
For him, personally, he will struggle to be accepted for the person he is. He comes out with such funny things and he won't stop to think about how it will be perceived by others.
One of our friends often comments on how George made him laugh when he asked:
"What have you been up to then, George?"
George was watching a natural history programme, so his reply was short and to the point:
"I went to Nethercott Farm last week and I've just done a pooh."
He never once took his eyes off the TV.
He often reminds me of Jerry Lewis in the Nutty Professor!
The above is an extract of my thoughts, which were written some six months ago. We are on the verge of some huge changes and this blog is my way of keeping track of where we've been, and where we're going.
George moved up to the senior school in September 2007. For the first 6 weeks he attended, he had his normal Ritalin dose every day, and our daily hell began at 4pm when the drugs had worn off. The arguments, mood swings, noises (which I describe as similar to Tourettes) and general inappropriate behaviour had become a very unhappy way of life. The school, however, had been very supportive and I decided that now was a good time to dispense with the meds. During the Autumn half term, we discarded the Ritalin. This was done with the full knowledge of his specialist who recommended that we continued to give him the drugs. I told him I needed to find a better way. I begged him to help me. He told me that he couldn't recommend any other way because Ritalin was the only thing that has been clinically tested. And of course.... it works. I am not denying that, for George, the Ritalin was a quick fix. But, I keep coming back to the worry of the long term side effects.........
We have identified a possible alternative which may help our child. It's a 12 month long training programme that is supposed to help to develop the "broken" neural pathways which prevent George from being able to learn the consequences of his actions. It is supposed to teach him how to manage his daily life and to find ways to keep his over-active mind focussed on the task at hand. His initial assessment is on 13th February 2008. Between now and the end of the course, I aim to update this blog as often as I can. If you accidentally stumble across this, and find it of interest, please leave your comments.
Today, George wrapped an elastic band around one of the cats' paws. I don't know how long it had been there when I found it, but the poor creatures' paw had started to swell. George forgot that he had done it and looked distraught when I showed him. The cat, and George, have both recovered well.
George started 'play school' when he was two and a half. Within a few weeks, there were queries regarding his inability to sit still. I put it down to a very active imagination, along with a tendency towards hyperactivity. My understanding though, of hyperactive children, was that they rarely slept and because George had outgrown his sleeplessness, he couldn't be clinically hyperactive (in my opinion). We muddled through the following two and a half years until he started Primary school at age four and a half. By this time, we had a fourth child - a daughter - who was, and still is, an angel. George had also developed Asthma and was taking a steroid inhaler to treat this. We discovered that, within 3 days of using the inhaler, he would become overly aggressive and we found out that this is a side effect of steroid inhalers (why do doctors never tell you this?). We used to send a note into school:
"George had an asthma attack at the weekend and used his inhaler. This is your three day warning!"
His first year teacher queried ADHD. I didn't know too much about it, but at the time I was going through my "I'm a bad mother - it's my fault" phase and generally beating myself up about his bad behaviour. I told her that he couldn't possibly have it because he is able to concentrate for long(ish) periods of time when he's involved in something he really loves.
Around this time, we looked at the possibility of food intolerances being the main cause of his hyperactivity and impulsive behavour. The following two years saw George eating only natural food - no additives, preservatives, sugar or colourings. We also started giving him omega 3 fish oils.
It took two years to get an appointment with the allergy specialist at our local hospital. I was convinced that once we got the diagnosis, we could then start to include other foods in his diet. George had a pin-prick test, using the most common triggers of food allergies (eggs, wheat, milk, peanuts) and he was also tested for airborn allergens (house dust mites, dogs, cats and horses etc). The result was that he showed one reaction - to house dust mites - and this was the cause of his asthma. A further two years and I managed to control the asthma without using steroid inhalers. We steam clean the house once a month to keep the house dust mite allergens down to a minimum and, at the time of writing, George has been asthma free for nearly four years. :o)
As a result of his allergy testing, we abandoned the "totally natural" diet, although have always tried to keep his sugar intake to a minimum. We noticed no difference. Therefore, I had proved to myself that his behaviour was not due to eating modern food.
Back to the plot.....
His year two teacher found a strategy that worked for George and thoughts of ADHD disappeared because he now seemed to be behaving like any other normal, although very active, 6 year old.
His year three teacher couldn't cope AT ALL. I remember the day when she stormed across the playground at the end of the day, with George in tow, and told me "I don't think there's anything wrong with him - I just think he's a very naughty boy!" I cried all the way home..... That evening, George informed me that he thought I should leave home. When I asked him why, he said "because I can't be good". :o(
Around this time, George developed suicidal tendencies and his self esteem was in minus figures. We had tried many different strategies to help him, all of which failed, so we decided that George should be assessed for ADHD. We got a referral through our GP, completed the Connors assessment and waited for an appointment.
And waited....
And waited....
After 12 months of waiting I telephoned our local ADHD clinic and had a bit of a temper tantrum about the waiting time. George was getting worse.... his little sister was, by now, copying all his bad behaviour and I had visions of having two children attend this clinic for some considerable part of their lives. The thought of having another child on the waiting list seemed to spur them into action and we received our appointment within four weeks. Finally, I felt as though we were making some progress.
On the day of our appointment, the psychologist confirmed that George was indeed afflicted with ADHD (he had a connors rating of 27/30) and he was prescribed Ritalin. (I am aware that the process for dealing with ADHD in children has changed slightly since George was diagnosed and other options are available these days).
It was like a miracle cure for us. His behaviour at school improved drastically and his schoolwork improved almost overnight. We felt that he now had good prospects for the future (and I'm not talking academically).
This is the background, very much condensed.
Lets skip four years...... and come (almost) to present day......
At age 11, we were finding it increasingly difficult to reconcile with the fact that George was taking 40 - 50mg of Ritalin a day. I was also increasingly concerned about the long term effects of taking a stimulant drug. I wanted to get him off the Ritalin, but had a lot of concerns. These were my thoughts, fears and hopes:
A reduced dose will not really work. Too little and you might as well not bother with it. We have discussed this in depth quite recently, himself and I. I want to try and get him off the stuff, and himself suggested a half dose. His dosage has recently been increased because 15mg just wasn't doing the business any more. Children grow and Georges' normal (previous) dose was based on his weight. He was becoming less focussed at school and his teachers were struggling. Without the Ritalin, it's real struggle, more than you can know, unless you live with a child who has ADHD.
They say that knowledge is power. To try and increase my knowledge I have recently read a book called "the Edison gene".
As a result of this, and other research I have carried out over the past few years, I am trying to look at my child through more positive eyes. Let us imagine for a moment, if 90% of our children were like George. The educational system would be set up to teach these children according to their attitude to learning. ADHD children are the most enquiring and alert. They do not respond well to our current teaching methods because they are constantly scanning. They do not see the benefit in being taught the 7 times table. They do see the benefit in experimenting, exploring and inventing because these are activities that stretch the imagination and keep them focussed on "what could be possible". To teach these children effectively, they need to be able to work at their own pace and bypass what is irrelevant to them. Our education system will always be tailored to meet the needs of the majority. The minority will be pushed to one side because
"I have 27 other children in the class - I cannot possibly give this child special attention"
"I cannot cope with him first thing - he's too lively"
"He gets easily bored - I don't know what to do to keep him interested in the subject matter"
If the majority of children were like George, teaching would take a more "hands on" approach. It would be more structured towards physically doing, rather than just being talked to. As an example:
Thomas Edison was a prolific inventor. At age 16 he devised a railway signalling system that was used for nearly 100 years. Thomas Edison had ADHD. His mother removed him from the education system because she could see the harm that was caused by un-informed teachers and their inability to deal with children who did not conform to what was accepted as normal. As a result he was allowed to develop into the person he was capable of being. At the end of this I will tell you more about him and how he would fit into todays society.
I want my child to develop into the man he needs to be to get the most from his life. I am frustrated by the lack of understanding. I have read many articles by nutritionists who have poo-poo'd ADHD, saying that it is completely down to todays diet of junk food, additives and preservatives. They say that if we fed our children natural food - fresh meat, vegetables and fruit etc., all these symptons would miraculously disappear. In my experience this is not true. It is true that if you have a hyperactive child that you should avoid too much sugar. Sugar is an "instant" energy food, and will give the recipient a sudden abundance of energy. Sugar free drinks are just as bad for a child with ADHD because they react to the artificial sweetener. We tried for 2 years to control this disorder through diet - it had no effect at all, except to give me a good knowledge of E numbers!
So, the diet has no effect, and he cannot conform in the way that our society deems acceptable. 20,000 years ago he would have been the leader of a group of hunters, due to his amazing ability to constantly scan, to be able to jump instantly from one activity to another.
Today, we give our children a mind altering drug to force them to conform. In one way, this is a positive thing because it enables them to integrate with our "normal" society. The other side of the coin shows that we are inhibiting the amazing gift these children have been born with, which will leave them............. where...?
I have seen what my child is capable of. He is 11 years old and has recently built and programmed a robot (with the aid of written instructions). I want to enable him to grow his capabilities in the way that suits him. He is not like other children and I don't want to give him drugs to make him like other children.
There is a theory that children who take ritalin are inhibited from learning how to be "socially acceptable". They cannot learn that skill because the drugs automatically stunt their ability to learn through doing. In other words, they understand the theory but do not have the practical ability. Added to that is the unknown effect of long term ritalin usage. There are some adults, having taken ritalin to control ADHD in childhood, who are reporting short term memory problems. It's not known if the short term memory problems are due to taking ritalin, or if it is a long term symptom of ADHD.
This unknown element scares me and that's another reason to try to get him off the drugs. I want him to be able to learn how to control his impulses. He cannot do this while he is taking ritalin.
The following passage had a profound effect on me, and has made me think about what is best for my boy in the long term
Yesterday's child was born in the 1800's. As a young boy, he was considered medically fragile. Every respiratory illness known to mankind in that age seemed to seize him. Even though Yesterday's child spent many of his early years ill, this did not stop his insatiable curiosity and boyish escapades. Today's child would be described as "just being a boy."
Yesterday's child often found himself in risky life-and-death situations. One time, around the age of five, this boy nearly drowned in a canal; and later he almost smothered as he sank into the depths of a grain elevator. Today's child would be described as "having no common sense."
Yesterday's child was found asleep in the barn in a nest he had constructed, lying on top of the chicken and goose eggs he was trying to hatch. Today's child would be called "weird, eccentric." "Get off those eggs, you'll crack them!"
Yesterday's child drove his parents to exhaustion by his persistent questioning of the world around him, determined to know the "whys," "what fors," and "what abouts" of his world. Todays child is searching for someone to ask the questions to
Yesterdays child, with no malice aforethought but only out of the intense curiosity of an inquisitive mind, set his father's barn on fire. For this he was publicly thrashed by his father, who tried to instill in him the serious consequences of his actions. Todays child would be called a "juvenile delinquent".
After only three months of formal education, Yesterdays child walked out of his school in a fit of rage. Running home, he could hear the thoughts of the schoolmaster echoing in his head: "stupid... stubborn... difficult." Thus, at the tender age of eight, Yesterdays mother gave the schoolmaster a piece of her mind and withdrew the boy from school. From that day onward, she became Yesterday's teacher. Todays child would be called "a problem child, a bad boy, oppositional." And Today's mother would be told she was "highly excitable, and coddling her child." She would be encouraged by all the experts to force her child to return to school because "He'll outgrow it. He's got to learn to adjust."
Yesterdays child went swimming with a friend in a nearby creek. When the friend didn't surface for air, Yesterday's child waited for what seemed like forever. As darkness fell, he - in his own unique five-year-old logic - concluded that it was time to go home. As the town was trying to piece together the disappearance and drowning of his friend, Yesterdays child tried to explain how he waited for what seemed like forever... Todays child would be treated for "conduct disorder" and undoubtedly find himself one step away from the juvenile justice system.
Yesterdays child just couldn't comprehend consequences; that much seems true. One day he attached wires to the tails of two cats and energetically rubbed their fur. This experiment in static electricity went astray when he was brutally clawed. Todays child would be in long term therapy for ADHD, Pervasive Development Disorder, or some other behavioural disorder.
Yesterdays mother complained constantly about the life-threatening condition of his bedroom. Fearing for the safety of her family and any other who ventured into the family home, Yesterdays mother moved his experiments into the cellar. Yesterdays child called it his laboratory and immersed himself in science, to the exclusion of what other "normal" kids were doing at his age. Todays child would be labelled "dysfunctional." Todays child would be spending time in a court order alternative school programme, meeting with a psychiatrist twice a week for therapy, and be attending a class to learn social skills.
At age twelve Yesterdays child insisted on going to work and began successfully earning his own wage. Todays child, at that age, would face a closed door to the world of mentorship in the workplace. Todays child would have to search beyond home and work for other avenues to have his abilities accepted and appreciated.
As you read about yesterdays child, you are probably wondering how he could have survived and how he could have contributed to society in a positive way. Clearly, yesterdays child had somebody who accepted his uniqueness, changed his environment to meet his needs, was not intimidated by his gifts, and tried sincerely to see the world through his eyes.
Yesterdays child's name is Thomas Alva Edison.
I am not saying that my child will be this clever, but I want to give him the opportunity to be all that he can be.
Our biggest problem currently is with the school. I can just about deal with him, un-medicated, at home. We have agreed that the school will not be able to cope. This is because they don't seem to want to understand where he's coming from. The SeNco is a waste of space, in my opinion. She was his year 5 teacher and his general attitude to learning, whilst in her class, deteriorated. In year 6, she still takes him for a few lessons a week. She complained that he doesn't concentrate well in her class and gets easily bored. A basic understanding of kids with ADHD would give her the answer to this problem. Kids like this need to succeed and be recognised for their little successes - there has to be something positive in their lives. As an example: he has an amazing ability to design and construct. Both his Y5 and Y6 teachers have specifically requested that he does NOT take any of his completed projects into school because they are made from lego and toys are not allowed. They have not seen his robot.
When he talks to his classmates about the robot he has built and programmed, they don't believe him because he cannot produce the evidence. When I asked them why he's not allowed to take his models in, I was told that if George was allowed to take toys to school, then it would not be fair on the other children. I understand this, up to a point, but we are not talking about toys - we are talking about his motivation, his immense pride in his achievements (so desperately important for ADHD children). I try to see it from a teachers point of view, but there should be a way to overcome this. If he was deaf, the teachers would need to make allowances for that disability. I am really sick of being told that they have to treat George the same as the other children - he is NOT the same - he's funny, witty, bright and can do anything he sets his mind to. Three months ago, his Dad taught him how to weld. How many 10 year olds can weld?The other ongoing problem is how he stands out by being different. We all know that children can be unkind and very often will target kids who are different. George has been targeted and often comes out of school at the end of the day, unhappy and frustrated, because some of the other children deliberately wind him up and then mock him when he over-reacts.
It bothers me that his teachers are only happy when George has made himself invisible. Comments like: "He was very good in art, today. In fact, I didn't even realise he was there" make me want to bang my head against a brick wall. This child has such a rich personality but nobody at school is interested. Two months ago his Y6 teacher asked me if there was any way I could give him his meds earlier, because he's very lively first thing, but by 9.15 he has settled down a bit. After I explained the consequences of this - his second dose would have worn off by 2.30 and she would have a hour "full on" at the end of the day, she decided to keep it as it is.
She told me that he will not go up to the playground, first thing, to play and instead comes running into the classroom 10 minutes early, wanting to help her. The example she gave me was that he wanted to fill the glue pots. In my opinion, this is a good thing and would be beneficial to all - he doesn't like playing in the playground - there's no structure to it and there is too much stimulus - he cannot cope with it. The task he suggested for himself would be quite therapeutic and something he could concentrate on (clever boy!) She refused to allow him to help. Instead she sent him back outside, and then complained that he spent 10 minutes messing about, before coming back in with the rest of the children. By this time he was completely off his head with boredom and took another half an hour to calm down. It's interesting that she seems so desperate to control him through his medication but when I've suggested possible alternatives, she looks down her nose at me. I don't really blame her for that - after all, she's a trained professional, but I know my child better than her and my suggestions (and his) should be given some merit. These two teachers consistently demonstrate a total lack of understanding with regard to him. My ADHD nurse rang the school to offer support and to my knowledge this has been turned down on the basis that they are managing perfectly well, thank you. Because of this we have decided that it would be best for George to have a full dose of Ritalin on school days, with complete breaks on non school days (on the non-ritalin days we are giving him Omega-3 oils to blunt his pointy edges
)He only has 6 weeks left at his current school and to be honest I don't think there's much more that we can achieve, given the short space of time. We plan to give him a summer that is medication free, in an effort to help him learn some self control. He responds well to people who believe in him. He has attended two camping weekends with his scout troop and they have experienced very few problems. Part of this is down to the activities, and part of it is due to his respect for his scout leader who believes that George can do well (and George can sense this).
I have also started to employ two very useful phrases:
"Just try it one more time. I know you can do it."
"It's not about how fast you can do it, it's about how well you can do it"
Both of these simple phrases are starting to work (albeit v e r y s l o w l y). If I can show him that I believe in him, I hope that he will start to believe in himself.
The senior school that he will be attending in September seems to be more pro-active and I have more confidence regarding support. I have an appointment with the SeNco next week, and once I know more about their strategies I can make an informed decision regarding his medication.
He doesn't seem to be at all worried about going to the "big" school. He's almost like a little warrior and I think he sees it as an exciting new adventure. If he started to show any signs of stress, I know that by reinforcing the "exciting adventure" aspect he would happily accept the situation. I have to be positive about his new school because he's very aware of undercurrents of tension and if he thinks I have any negative feelings about it, he will automatically assume that it's because I don't think he can do it. My main concern is that his new teachers will need to have an open mind regarding George. I know that he can achieve much, given the right motivation and respect.
For him, personally, he will struggle to be accepted for the person he is. He comes out with such funny things and he won't stop to think about how it will be perceived by others.
One of our friends often comments on how George made him laugh when he asked:
"What have you been up to then, George?"
George was watching a natural history programme, so his reply was short and to the point:
"I went to Nethercott Farm last week and I've just done a pooh."
He never once took his eyes off the TV.
He often reminds me of Jerry Lewis in the Nutty Professor!
The above is an extract of my thoughts, which were written some six months ago. We are on the verge of some huge changes and this blog is my way of keeping track of where we've been, and where we're going.
George moved up to the senior school in September 2007. For the first 6 weeks he attended, he had his normal Ritalin dose every day, and our daily hell began at 4pm when the drugs had worn off. The arguments, mood swings, noises (which I describe as similar to Tourettes) and general inappropriate behaviour had become a very unhappy way of life. The school, however, had been very supportive and I decided that now was a good time to dispense with the meds. During the Autumn half term, we discarded the Ritalin. This was done with the full knowledge of his specialist who recommended that we continued to give him the drugs. I told him I needed to find a better way. I begged him to help me. He told me that he couldn't recommend any other way because Ritalin was the only thing that has been clinically tested. And of course.... it works. I am not denying that, for George, the Ritalin was a quick fix. But, I keep coming back to the worry of the long term side effects.........
We have identified a possible alternative which may help our child. It's a 12 month long training programme that is supposed to help to develop the "broken" neural pathways which prevent George from being able to learn the consequences of his actions. It is supposed to teach him how to manage his daily life and to find ways to keep his over-active mind focussed on the task at hand. His initial assessment is on 13th February 2008. Between now and the end of the course, I aim to update this blog as often as I can. If you accidentally stumble across this, and find it of interest, please leave your comments.
Today, George wrapped an elastic band around one of the cats' paws. I don't know how long it had been there when I found it, but the poor creatures' paw had started to swell. George forgot that he had done it and looked distraught when I showed him. The cat, and George, have both recovered well.
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